A gentle reflection on self-worth, gratitude, and being present — especially in a world that tells us we need fixing.
For the first 30+ years of my life, I believed I was both too much and not enough.
I carried around a constant inner conflict — too loud and too quiet, too confident and too shy, too silly and too serious. I was always questioning which version of me was acceptable. That way of thinking left me anxious, uncertain, and exhausted from constant overthinking and second-guessing.
I’m now well into my 40s and, for the most part, I like, love, and trust myself. But it didn’t happen by accident. It took conscious effort, unlearning, and a lot of gentle self-compassion.
The problem with “New Year, New You”
This time of year, there’s often a lot of noise around “new year, new you”. It’s a message I’ve come to deeply dislike.
At its core, it suggests that we are not enough as we are — that in order to be happy, successful, loved, or valued, we need to be different from who we are right now. That idea plants dissatisfaction where there doesn’t need to be any, and it can leave us feeling perpetually behind or broken.
That’s a disempowering place to be.
The moment everything shifted
Being told “you are enough” was a turning point for me.
I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear those words until they resonated deeply, right to my core. For the first time, I allowed myself to pause and see where I was — not as a problem to solve, but as a person worthy of kindness.
Being enough meant I could look at what I already had and feel grateful for it. And gratitude, I’ve learned, only really takes root when we’re present in the moment rather than lost in the past or worrying about the future.
Those three things — self-worth, gratitude, and presence — changed everything for me.
Three things I wish I could tell my younger self
If I could go back and offer my younger self some guidance, it would be this:
1. Tell yourself daily, “I am enough.”
You might not believe it at first — that’s okay. Keep saying it. Keep thinking it. Over time, those words begin to soften the inner dialogue.
2. Notice what you already have to be grateful for.
Gratitude doesn’t require a perfect life. It simply asks us to notice what is already here — the small moments, the quiet comforts, the things we often overlook.
3. Be present in the moment.
So much of our stress comes from living in the past or worrying about the future. Presence allows us to meet life as it is, and to notice the beauty and meaning woven into everyday moments.
A gentle reminder
If you’re reading this and it resonates, please know this:
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not too much.
You are already enough — just as you are.
If any of this feels familiar, and you’d like gentle support to shift how you speak to yourself, my 31-day Gentle Gratitude Journals are a lovely place to begin.
